Sardarji Jokes

Sardarji jokes are a class of jokes based on stereotypes of Sikhs. Although jokes on several ethnic stereotypes are common in India, the Sardarji jokes was one of the most popular and widely circulated ethnic jokes in India. Sardarji jokes are considered as tasteless and inappropriate by many. http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/articleshow/msid-1776258,prtpage-1.cms

But I am a Big fan of Sardarji jokes. Here are few that i like –

2 Sardars looking at Egyptian mummy.
Sardar1: Look so many bandages, pakka truck accident case.
Sardar2: Aaho, truck nambar bhi likha hai. BC-1760

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Sardar proposed a Girl……
Girl said I’m 1yr elder to you……… ..
Sardar said Oye No Problem Soniye, I’ll marry you NEXT YEAR.

~~~~~~~~~

Sardarji is in Delhi. He is walking on a street which has a Clock Tower when someone asks him if he wants to buy the clock on the Tower.

Sardarji says “Yes”.

“Give me a thousand rupees and I’ll go get a ladder.”

The man took the thousand and disappeared. Having waited for several hours the Sardarji figured he was taken for a ride.

On the next day the Sardarji is again walking along the same street and the same man asks him to buy the clock.

“Give me a thousand rupees and I’ll go get a ladder.”

The Sardarji gives him the thousand and says “I am not a fool. This time, you wait and I’ll go get a ladder”.

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How do u recognize a SARDAR in school ?

They are the ones who erase their notebooks
When the teacher erases the blackboard !!

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Oye sardar ji your friend is kissing your wife in your house

Sardar ji ran towards home and came back saying: oye khotia aiwaen chakkar pawaya,

He is not my friend. :p

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Sardar & sardarni in bus,
Sardarni: suno ji, peche wala mere kapdon mein hath daal raha hai,
Sardar: TU chinta mat kar, usey kiya pata ke purse mere pass hai.

~~~~~~~~~

Son to sardar : abba 5+5 kiney honde ae?
Sardar : Ullu de patte, gadhe, idiot, nalayak, besharam, haram khor, tujhe kuch nahi aata.
Jaa andar se calculator lekar aa.

~~~~~~~~~

This letter is from Banta Singh from Punjab. We have bought a computer
For our home and we found problems, which I want to bring to your
Notice.

1. After connecting to Internet we planned to open e-mail account and
Whenever we fill the form in Hotmail in the password column, only ******
Appears, but in the rest of the fields whatever we typed appears, but
We face this problem only in password field. We checked with hardware
Vendor Santa Singh and he said that there is no problem in keyboard.
Because of this we open the e-mail account with password *****. I
Request you to check this as we ourselves do not know what the password is.

2. We are unable to enter anything after we click the ‘shut down ‘
Button.

3. There is a button ‘start’ but there is no “stop” button. We request
You to check this.

4. We find there is ‘Run’ in the menu. One of my friend clicked ‘run ‘
Has ran upto Amritsar! So, we request you to change that to “sit”, so
That we can click that by sitting.

5. One doubt is that any ‘re-scooter’ available in system? As I find
Only ‘re-cycle’, but I own a scooter at my home.

6. There is ‘Find’ button but it is not working properly. My wife lost
The door key and we tried a lot for tracing the key with this ‘ find’,
But unable to trace. Is it a bug??

7. Every night I am not sleeping as I have to protect my ‘mouse’ from
CAT, So I suggest u to provide one DOG to kill that cat.

8. Please confirm when u are going to give me money for winning
‘HEARTS’ (playing cards in games) and when are u coming to my home to collect
Ur money.

9. My child learnt ‘Microsoft word’ now he wants to learn ‘Microsoft
Sentence, so when u will provide that?

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Sardar : I hav’nt slept all nite in the train.

Friend : why?

Sardar : Got upper berth.

Friend : why didn’t you exchange?

Sardar : Oye, there was nobody to exchange in the lower berth..

~~~~~~~~~

A SARDAR went to a BANK to open a S.B. A/C. After seeing the Form He had gone to DELHI for filling up.

You know why?

FORM says ” FILL UP IN CAPITAL “.

~~~~~~~~~

A Teacher lecturing on population:

In India after Every 10 sec a women gives birth to a kid.

A Sardar stands up and says: we must find and stop her !!

~~~~~~~~~

Sardar: why are all these people running?

Man: This is a race, the winner will get the cup.

Sardar: If only the winner will get the cup, why are others running?

~~~~~~~~~

A man came running in to the sardar’s office and cried-
“Santa ! Your daughter has died”

Depressed, Sardar jumps from 100th floor
.
.
.
At 50 th floor he remembers I don’t have a daughter!
.
.
.
.
At 25 floor: I’m unmarried !
.
.
.
At 10 floor : he remembers “I’m Banta not santa”

~~~~~~~~~

Sardar wins 20 cr from Rs. 20 lottery ticket. Dealer gave him 11 cr after deducting tax.

Angry Sardar: “Give me 20 cr or else return my 20 Rs back.!

~~~~~~~~~

On a ROMANTIC dare sardar’s girl friend asks him, “Darling on our
engagement will you give me a ring?”

Cooly replies: Ya sure, what’s your phone numner…..

~~~~~~~~~

A Sardar and his wife filed an application 4 Divorce.

Judge asked: How will you divide, you have 3 children?

Sardar replied: Ok! We”ll apply NEXT YEAR

~~~~~~~~~

Sardar was writing something very slowly.

Friend asked:” Why r u writing so slowly?

Sardar: “I’m writing 2 my 6 yr old son, he can’t read very fast.

~~~~~~~~~

Flash news:
A 2 seater plane crashed in a graveyard in punjab .

Local sardars have so far found 500 bodies and are still digging for more..

~~~~~~~~~

Two sardarjis were sitting outside a clinic. One of them was crying like anything.

So the other asked, “Why are you crying?”

The first one replied, “I came here for blood test”

Second one asked, “So? Are you afraid?”

First one replied, “No, not that. During the blood test they cut my finger”

Hearing this the second one started crying. The first one was astonished and asked other, “Why are you crying?”

The other replied, “I have come for my urine test.”
~~~~~~~~~

A train suddenly deviated from the tracks and ran onto the nearby fields before returning on the tracks again. The passengers were horrified at this. At the
next railway station, the driver was caught and questioned. He was a sardar and explained that a man was standing on the tracks and he refused to budge.

The authorities asked him, “Sardarji, are you mad? Just to save one person, you put so many lives in danger. You should have overrun that person.”

The sardar replied: “Exactly, that is what I was doing, but this idiot started running towards the field when the train came very close.”

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One Sardar was enjoying Sun on a Beach in UK.

A lady came and asked him, ” Are you relaxing”
Sardar answered ‘” No I am Banta Singh”

Another Guy Came and asked the same Question.
Sardar answered ” No No Me ! Banta Singh”

Third one came and asked the same
question, Sardar was totally annoyed and decided to
shift his place.

While walking he saw another Sardar
enjoying the Beach.

He went and asked him ” Are you Relaxing?”. The other Sardar was much educated and answered “Yes I am relaxing.

The Sardar slapped him on
his face and said “Idiot, they are all searching for you and you are sitting here”

~~~~~~~~~

ardar complained to his friend about his wife “My wife never agrees with anything I say. And we have been married for six years.”

Mrs Sardar (Rajsi) intervened, “Not six we have been married for seven years!”

~~~~~~~~~

once a sardar ji went for an interview for the post of electrical engg.

desk: so you are coming for this post.

sardar ji: yes sir.

desk: so tell me how does an electrical motor runs?

sardarji: o ji its very simple.
TORRRRRRRRRRR……….

~~~~~~~~~

Sardar joins the suicide bomber squad. So when he is given a mission to suicide in the enemies camp his leader supply him a lot of weapons and bombs stacked to his body and mobile for communications.

He lands up in the enemy’s camp, called his boss: Sir, there are 2 enemies soldier, can I suicide now?

Leader: No, not for two, wait till you see more soldiers.

Sardar: Sir now there are 25 can I do it now?

Boss: Wait for more.

Sardar: Sir, now I am in a midst of 100 soldiers, can I suicide now?

Boss: Yes, go ahead, you will be a martyr, don’t worry about your family, we will look after.

Sardar pulls his knife and stabs himself in his chest.!!!

~~~~~~~~~

Sardar: Can I know my mobile bill, please?

Call centre girl: Sir,just dial *123# to know your current bill status.

Sardar: (He got angry and..)You stupid…

Call centre girl:Sir,I’m sorry, anything wrong?

Sardar: I’m not asking my current bill.I’m asking my mobile bill.. Don’t be a fool. Be wise like me.

Call centre girl: ???!!!

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Sardar 1:If you tell me what’s there in my basket, I’ll give you all the EGGS in it.

Sardar 2: (Thinking…)

Sardar 1:And if you tell me how many eggs are there, I’ll give you all the 7 EGGS!!

Sardar 2: (Thinking…)

Sardar 1:And again if you tell me which bird’s eggs these are, the HEN is also yours….

Sardar 2: Your questions are too tough…So give me a clue or hint???

Sardar 1:!!!!

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sardar returns from London. He calls his wife and asks her, “Do I look like a foreigner?”

She says no.

The answer angers him. “Look carefully, do I look like a foreigner?”

She again replies in the negative. By now the sardar is fuming.

He yells: “Come close and see, do I look like a foreigner?”

The wife says: “No.”

The sardar who is seething with rage says: “All those women in London were fools. Every time I went out they would say: `Look a foreigner`.”

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Once a sardar had to learn two essays for the exam. One is about friend and the other is about father. He had studied only about friend. But in the exam the essay asked was about father. Sardar dint give up. He replaced father with friend in the essay and it read:

“I am a very fatherly person, I have lots of fathers, My best father is my neighbor.”

He ended the essay as, “A father in need is a father in deed….!”

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NAPOLEAN: “In my Dictionary there is no word called ‘IMPOSSIBLE’….

Sardarji: “What’s the use of saying it now, you should have checked it before buying THE DICTIONARY !!

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A sardar is traveling via train. On his way, he feels the urge to go to the bathroom. So he goes and opens the bathroom door, which happens to have a mirror in the front. The sardar thinks there is another sardarji in there, quickly shuts the door and returns to his seat.

5 minutes later he goes again, only to find the same sardarji. An hour passes away, he’s made 20 trips to the bathroom, only to find that the same person is still there.

So he finally gets ticked off, goes to the last compartment and tells the TC (Ticket Checker) what’s been going on. The TC, who also happens to be a sardar, feels bad for him and promises to throw the bum out.

The TC walks down to the compartment with the troubled bathroom to get the sardarji out of the bathroom.

Few minutes later the TC comes back and tell the sardar “I’m sorry, I can’t do anything. The guy in there is a railway staff member”

~~~~~~~~~

Sardar visits Chinese friend dying in hospital.
The Chinese friend just says “CHIN YU YAN” and dies.
Sardarji goes to China to find the meaning of his friend’s last Words.

And finds It means “U R STANDNG ON the OXYGEN TUBE!”

~~~~~~~~~

Sardarji was standing in front of the mirror with his eyes closed.

His wife asked what you are doing.

He said I am seeing how I look while sleeping.

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Man: Sardarji where were U born?
Sardarji: Punjab .

Man: Which part?

Sardar: Oye What part part, whole body Is born in Punjab Yaar”.

~~~~~~~~~
A sardar was drawing money from ATM, the sardar behind him in the line said, “Ha! Ha! Haaa! I’ve seen ur password. Its 4 asterisks (****). ”

The first sardar replies, “Ha! Ha! Haaa! U R wrong, Its 1258”
~~~~~~~~~
Sardar Gurbachan Singh is appearing for his University final examination which consists of Y/N type questions.

He takes his seat in the Examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his wallet out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet – Y for Heads and N for Tails.

Within half an hour he is all done whereas the rest of the class is sweating it out. During the last few minutes, he is seen desperatley throwing the coin, swearing and sweating.

The invigilator,alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on. “Oye, I finished the exam in half an hour”. “But yaar”, he says, ” I am rechecking my answers.”
~~~~~~~~~
***
*Boss : am giving u job as a driver. STARTING salary Rs.2000/-, is it o.k
Sardar : U R great sir! Starting salary is o.k…….but? ?
how much is DRIVING salary…?
~~~~~~~~~

Santa: I have swallowed a key.

Doctor: When?

Santa: 3 months back!

Doctor: What were you doing till now?

Santa: I was using duplicate key, now I have lost it too.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jeeto: Ek baat batani hai, par plz muje marna nahi.
Santa: Bolo.
Jeeto: Mein Pregnant hu!
Santa: It’s a gud News.
Jeeto: Shadi k pahle pitaji ko bataya to bahut maar padi thi.

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Ek sardar ka 20 saal baad beta hua. Who udas hogaya.

2nd dost : yaar udas kyon ho?

Sardar: 20 saal baad beta hua tay “oh vi inna chota”

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A Sardarji, very proud of his humour used to say to his wife leaving for the office : ‘Good bye Char Bacchon ki Maa’ . One day his wife fed up of this answered : ‘ Bye Bye, Doo Bacchon Ke Baap’. That ended the husband’s witticisms.

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Have Fun!

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